| For those who don't
actually live there, Taranaki is an almost forgotten corner of New Zealand.
It's not really on the way to anywhere, and for many the only reason to
venture there is when the Desert Road and National Park highways are closed
by snow. However, tucked away in Taranaki are some of New Zealand's true
mountain biking gems. There are plenty of adventures to be had - beyond
the ring plain there are no gas stations, shops or anything really except
the occasional pub. To assist in your exploration Charlie Palmer and Jason
Barclay, jungle riders of ill repute, propose some 'rules of thumb' for
enjoying Taranaki.
 The
aptly named Mythical Moki track was closed for many years while the
Department
of Conservation repaired bridges that were deemed unsafe. We'd always
viewed closures of this type with a degree of scepticism - "how many creeks
and streams in New Zealand could be un-crossable without a bridge?" We
were prepared to give it a nudge, bridges or not. Fortunately they were
repaired when we got there. What we saw made us realise how foolish it
is to underestimate Taranaki's backcountry. The geology of Taranaki is
fascinating - well for some depraved souls anyway. But the guts of the
matter is that the hill country is mainly siltstone, and water carves
through it as smoothly and cleanly as glass slices through your tyre.
The result is a network of waterways with steep-sided, glass-smooth banks
that are often in excess of twenty metres deep. You can't climb up or
down 'em or jump across.
Rule 1. You can't jump a slot canyon. The ramifications of this interesting
geology don't end with the waterways. The siltstone is called papa. It's
light grey and when it's dry, blocks of it crumble seductively in your
hands. It is magnificent to ride - tyres grip well and it's smooth 'n'
fast. But when wet it is as slippery as potter's clay. Trying to ride
on compacted wet papa is as foolhardy as heading down Dunedin's Pine Hill
to the Octagon on the black ice of a cold winter's morning. Mix un-compacted
papa with water and you're faced with a thick gluey porridge.
Rule 2. When the papa is wet, hang
out in the Whangamomona Pub. Taranaki is full of hunt'n types, but not enough to
control the plague of goats that roam the hills. They don't really bother
you, except for the colossal assault on your olfactory senses. Goats are
filthy little buggers. They roll around in the mud and smear themselves
in body excretions to attract partners. Nice. You can smell them long
after they've scampered off the track in front of you. Learn to live with
it - it's likely to be one of the worst things you've ever smelled, and
there's lots of it.
Rule 3. Goat perfume ain't no 'eau de toilette'. New Zealand is famous for some big things not found
in Texas. We used to own the world's largest eagle, it was big enough
to fly off with moas. We've also got one of the world's nastiest nettles.
It's called ongaonga and there is heaps of it in Taranaki. It hangs out
beside trails where it waits to jab you with its cyanide tipped needles.
Learn to recognise it, then avoid it.
Rule 4. Don't needle ongaonga - it bites. Taranaki's steep dissected topography required some
innovative road building solutions. These included very narrow roads crossing
cliff faces hundreds of metres above canyons, tunnels, and steep hill
climbs through native forest. They remain unsealed and there is very little
traffic. 'Keeping to the left' makes little sense as the other half of
the 'two lanes' is usually a 30 metre sandstone bluff. Either learn how
to fly or take it easy out there, it ain't so cool becoming a Hilux hood
ornament. Mmmm ... steep and exciting dirt roads, tunnels, forests - sounds
like mountain biking country to us.
Rule 5. Score an AA road map of Taranaki and
go mountain biking.
 Rule
6. Farewell to the jungle.
Mountain biking in Taradise isn't just about doing battle in
the jungle. The Lake Managamahoe pine forests near New Plymouth contain
a
network of superb singletrack with flowing trails and sweet technical
descents built by the local freeride fraternity. Some will have you reaching
for body armour faster than you can mutter "health insurance". Unlike
the inland hill-country it is possible to ride here when it's wet - a
healthy option once the Whangamomona Pub has lost its novelty.
It gets wet ... a lot. Mt Taranaki and its environs
cop a lot of crap weather off the Tasman Sea. The moisture and winds in
Taranaki can send player comfort levels spiralling off the bottom of the
scale. It's changeable too, so be prepared for anything the weather gods
decide to throw at ya.
Rule 7. There are no droughts in Taranaki,
get a good jacket.
Rule 8. Oh, grab a machete
too.
Attempts at exploring the region's jungle with a bike will rapidly introduce
you to another infamous native plant - manuka. Due to Taranaki's rainfall
it colonises bare ground such as old tracks. During its thicket stage
it has the not-so-endearing quality of spawning more seedlings per metre
than hairs on a dog's back. It delights in hooking itself around your
pedals, bars, derailleur, helmet and backpack. Paranoid delusions soon
develop when it takes an hour to get your bike 500 metres along an overgrown
skidder track. Some days you beat the jungle. Some days the jungle beats
you.
Rule 9. Double the expected
trip duration time ... and take a torch.
The 'naki has a different pace of life. For a province with a reputation
for still being something of a 'frontier state', it harbours a large number
of dudes who have taken the laid-back lifestyle and then ramped it 'up'
another few notches. Everyday things seem to take a little longer than
you'd expect, and the same applies to the riding. That easy 45km loop
can see you staggering back to the car nine hours later, vowing to take
more food next time. Track conditions, changeable weather, navigational
challenges, unknown technical difficulty and a healthy dose of mooching
often combine to deliver adventure on an epic scale.
Rule 10. Get yerself to
Taradise.
Whether you stick to the hill country roads, or hit the trails you'll
find directions to some of the best riding in the Fifth Edition of Classic
New Zealand Mountain Bike Rides. Check out Mythical Moki, Rerekapa, Bridge to Somewhere,
Lake Mangamahoe and Meremere Road.
There's also heaps of exploring to do. Much of this
land was gifted to returned servicemen after WWII. They attempted to clear
the forest for farming. Most failed, but the tracks they cut are still
there - just waiting for your tyres.
|
